I Love You

I loved my dad…. I still do… I loved him after every single fight…. Begging him to see me but he looked right through…. After every accusation and manipulation… After every painful sleepless night and devaluation… Because I thought I could love him long enough for him to change… Relived the trauma and abuse….but I…

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guilt trip

I always have a default setting in my mind…. Guilt…shame….suffering…. No matter how far I run away…. The same cycle is where I always find… But the more I deny the truth….the more it stays with me…. I run from you but then I keep believing in this fantasy… I wish I could take it…

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Trust

Trust is a hard thing to take care of.. When insecurity resides within…no reassurance is ever enough…. And I always had a million reasons to not believe in love and care… I just wish back then…broken glass hearts and empty eyes weren’t all our family shared… All I ever wanted was someone to be there….…

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Peace

Thought I could run away in arms that were never mine… Believed I could hide the pain beneath layers of denial and captured time… But the truth has a way of surfacing even when we’re not ready to face… All the mistakes and regrets and memories…I just wanted to erase… Looked into your eyes…to see…

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