happiness

why do I destroy any chance to let joy in… why do I allow my own despair to always win… fall into this situation every single time… my emotions always turning on a dime… because I can’t seem to sit with myself long enough to love me…. the only person I can’t get away to…

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enough

I’ll never believe…. I’m enough…. I’ll never let myself feel completely loved…. Because there’s just a deeper place of loneliness I keep inside… And I build prisons inside my mind… Ones perpetually cold and unkind… But it’s the only false sense of peace I know… I know….

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obsess

obsession isn’t love… but for the longest time I didn’t know… the difference between love that was real… and a love just for show… I just don’t want to be used in the end…. Delete all my messages after I hit unsend… Because I could hide forever in my pain… My heart drenched in a…

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bad dreams

I keep hearing him leave… And I wish it was just the traces of a bad dream… I lose myself in what used to be… But nothing and no one can replace him in my memories… And I keep telling myself what’s meant to be.. Will be…

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judgement

you judge me until I can’t stand under the weight… you shame me until helplessness becomes my only repeating fate… and you can’t handle it if I make a single human mistake… I close my eyes as you continue to take and take… and all this…which you call love…feels empty and fake… fake… you set…

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Real

living in a glass world… empty hearts and fabricated minds indifferent and cold… just do as you are told… words echoing in my head… until I remember back then all I wanted… was to find peace in death but instead… life clung onto me… love doesn’t let go until you see… you’re all you ever…

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pedestals

we lifted one another just to break each other down…. we played with our hearts and passed our emotions around… perfect exists only in fantasy but it could never be real… numbing all my pain but we all just need to heal…. loving someone isn’t love when it’s all about control in the end… peace…

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trust

I never knew love… Growing up… I knew fear… But they called it love… And for a long time… I couldn’t forgive it…. I couldn’t let it go…. I held it…. I held the pain in my heart…. Until it turned into a poison… Turning everything good in my life to another layer of pain……

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