I spent decades loving others…

Pouring into empty and lonely hearts…

But the one I should have cared for…

Was my very own…

Traveled the world over for a love that would complete me….

But I never found it there…

Killing parts of me…

Losing parts of me…

Breaking parts of me…

All to feel loved by others…

But that could never be love…

Love doesn’t hurt like this…

But I learned the hard way…

The love you truly need is the one…

No one else can give…

Because when you hate yourself..

After abuse and neglect and suffering…

No one can make you unlearn the hate..

No one but you…

Living your life…

Becoming whatever others need you to be…

One day you’ll wake up…

Disconnected from reality…

And the only real way to find yourself again…

The only way to break free…

Is to abandon your search…

Your endless chase…

And sit alone….

To listen to a long silenced and quiet voice….

To start pouring love into your own heart again…

To become your own love, best friend, coach, family, parent…

To be everything you needed but didn’t get…

To finally….

Finally…

Choose your own love…

Your own heart…

Your own self…

To decide to save your own life…

And create the love you need…

Posted by:Lauren Kim

🦋 I write my own stories, breathing in life & love by my heart's endless daydreams.

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