golden

I didn’t want to see it….

The dark shades in my heart….

Ones where I hurt myself…

And hurt others…

I drank my own poison…

Long after childhood memories…

And I made excuses and shifted the blame…

When I was the one who chose not to fly free…

My life shattered completely apart….

Then love…

Real love grew within my heart…

I don’t want to be…

A false version of my self anymore….

I don’t want to play a scripted role….

There was a deep wound in me…

Longing to be filled…

But nothing outside of me could come close to healing….

All the wounds and brokenness….

I don’t want to be…

Her anymore…

I spent much of my life feeling so worthless…

So alone and afraid…

Completely helpless….

Powerless for so long…

I didn’t want to be powerless any longer…

I don’t want to go back to the life….

To the person…

To the story….

I once had….

I’m leaving it all behind…

For a new life…

A new beginning…

One entirely of my own.