so many tears…
for the love I failed to have….
forever chasing after…
the love they could never give….
I became someone I didn’t know…
trading love for attention…
care for obsession…
and sorry doesn’t quite cover all the wrongs…
but I hope you know…
there is only one here…
in my heart…
I got so lost in the glittering lights…
but the longer I stayed…
it just couldn’t feel right…
maybe it’s too late for us…
maybe I deserve everything I received…
the truth is…
I couldn’t ever let my heart be loved…
but losing you….
shattered every last defense…
for so long…
my mind only wanted a perfect white picketed fence…
but real love isn’t like that…
through all the rain…
the sunshine and storms…
you were the one I needed….
the one always there…
so far we’ve drifted into this place…
I fell for an illusion…
one where I could hide forever…
I’m here now…
and I…
reach only for your hands…
I hope in time…
both our hearts can fully understand…
I love you…
Just you…
and no matter where life takes us…
that love won’t fade…
it won’t die…
and I was selfish…
and I was only thinking of myself…
love people and use things…
but I self sabotage and destroy so many things….
and I’ll own that…
and I hurt so many people…
and I caused so much pain…
and I know I can never take it back…
I’m learning….
how to love…
how to truly love…
everything I thought about love…
was wrong…
everything…
I lost myself…
and I hope you are well…
truly well…
and happy…
