Anxiety and dread… Always in the background… Both hungry… Always needing to be fed… So many thoughts… Won’t have peace when I lay in bed.. It’s too quiet and calm… My heart chooses chaos instead… A struggle to maintain… But yesterdays all begin to blur and feel the same strain… Healthy can be so hard…

A part of me hates the lows.. Running always from the pain.. But you can’t have sunshine and butterflies.. Without the growth and a little rain… A storm of emotions when I remember the past… The brightest of moments seem to fade and fall away so fast… It’s okay to let the sorrow in to…

Most days are good… Even if my mind runs through the could and shoulds… But there are times that hit me hard in the heart… And the emotional intensity paralyzes me in the pain of feeling like I’m right back at the start… I can never forget how far I’ve come but when the sorrow…

Hate wears a beautiful facade… Passionate and elusive… She knows every tiny crime… And keeps record of each injustice… She paints her lips in self righteousness.. And combs her hair with disdain… And every day… And every night… She does it all again… Hate holds on desperately to… A feeling of twisted connection… She won’t…

In his distant eyes I saw… Pain I longed to heal… Too dependent I… Let his feelings become the ones I would feel… And for so long I could memorize his name as I slowly forgot my own… I knew every single slight difference in his voice and words and tones… Abuse is so deadly…

Growing up was kind of lonely… Emotional neglect gave a way for my own fantasies to accompany me… But I think that’s why it’s so difficult to let others in… You get so used to being independent…you hide yourself in every smile and every grin… So easy to push the ones you love away… Even…

It’s simple when it’s right… A never ending battle… Between fight & flight… So easy to run… Fantasy always longs to chase the sun… But when I woke up… The fairy tale love stories… Were never quite enough.. And I… Compare nothing to… Love…

I’m good at leaving… Never at staying… I’m better at fighting every word… You keep saying… And I run from any chance of love because I’m scared… Losing you was everything I’ve ever truly feared… But what is life without love… There’s no life without love… When all we will ever have… There’s nothing I…

Dreamed of you long before we ever met… In a second you could make me laugh when I was so determined to stay upset… I tried to turn off all my feelings but the love always remained… Because the day we met… My life was never again the same… But it’s hard to change internalized…

love is not…. manipulations…. fabrications…. but when you grow up this way…. day becomes night…. and night feels like day…. I played it all so well…. but when everything finally fell…. I saw the bitter truth in my own lies….. she wears the weight of a villain and victim in the way she cries… love…