I’m still grieving the loss of the life I used to live… I’m still mourning the loss of the family we once had… But the pain flows from my heart hitting the harshness of reality…. The family we had was broken to begin with…long before it all fell apart… What hurt me the most was…

My tears are colored with anger, pain, grief, sorrow, despair, relief, hope, love… Everything in between… I loved you. I hated you. I feared you…. But now… When I think of you I don’t imagine this invincible man who had all the power in the world…. I see a scared, broken boy….who never healed the…

Days go by…. Love finds a way to fly….. And even though I know I’m not perfect… There’s no one else I’d rather be…. Because the more I fall in love with me…. The higher I feel… With the feeling of being free…

the trauma changed my life…. took away any sense of safety and security…. left me in a confusing haze…. but the hard part of healing is realizing…. I never felt safe…. My life was a distorted, helpless maze…. But now everything is different…. Because I’m not a victim…. And I’m not afraid… Yes… He hurt…

you didn’t always love me kindly…. you didn’t always hold me close…. the trauma changed me…. the tears and the guards I put up…. don’t give away easily…. every protective measure…. every wall…. to protect myself…. to survive…. but surviving isn’t the same as living…. isn’t the same as loving… trust doesn’t evolve overnight…. love…

underneath the fear…. beneath the tears…. is a panic that runs wild and uncontrolled…. any hint… any indication of change…. spikes the fear of death in me… because this was how I survived…. this was how I made it through…. but it took a fatal cost…. and the more I hold onto the past… the…