Believe in you. Believed in you. Past tense. Love you. Love you. Present tense. Hurting me didn’t stop my love. Leaving me didn’t break it. You have my love, not me. You won’t ever have me. Again.

I love you enough to leave you… When you’ve become a danger to my health. There’s nothing you could give me to heal these scars, No amount of promises, diamonds, or wealth. You can’t put a price on love no matter what they say. All the reasons I once had are gone…the ones telling me…

You don’t get to tell me how to live. You don’t have the authority to take what isn’t yours to give… And with everything you do, there’s no love in your eyes. Keep a butterfly caged for too long and her only fate will be to die.

You say I’m better seen and not heard… Reeling from your shots before I know what damage has even occurred. And for as long as I live, with you there will always be an incident you stirred… But I’m still living my life the way I want it, free and undeterred.

I don’t want to be vulnerable but in a way it’s the bravest step in staying true. For my whole life, all I can remember is what he wanted from me and what he tried to….do. And I don’t want to make it seem like this is all about just me….I know so many had…

I wrote a poem about all that we could ever be… Then the pain and fear of those nights came rushing back to me. I missed…only the fantasy. You say, all we had was family. Now I’m left with the pain of how it fell apart so perfectly.  

I imagined a life… Without the addictions. Without the pain. Without this endless cycle of highs and lows. A life… I’ve never known. And sometimes I see you there. But you never belong in my reality, only my dreams. Dreams where the sights are beautiful and nothing ever feels lonely. I never knew I needed…