free

you didn’t always love me kindly…. you didn’t always hold me close…. the trauma changed me…. the tears and the guards I put up…. don’t give away easily…. every protective measure…. every wall…. to protect myself…. to survive…. but surviving isn’t the same as living…. isn’t the same as loving… trust doesn’t evolve overnight…. love…

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here

underneath the fear…. beneath the tears…. is a panic that runs wild and uncontrolled…. any hint… any indication of change…. spikes the fear of death in me… because this was how I survived…. this was how I made it through…. but it took a fatal cost…. and the more I hold onto the past… the…

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letter to me

why can’t I love you? why is it so hard….. why can’t I accept you? why do I treat you without regard…. I used to close my eyes to hate you…. and lied to myself to just get through…. I was never loved for who I was…. they put me down and controlled me just…

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be

Oh I feel the pain running deeper…. And some days I feel strong and others it’s like I’m getting weaker… It hurts when I think of all the ways you betrayed my trust… But we do what we do and we survive as we must… I trusted you with my whole heart…. Never did I…

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life

It took time to fall in love with me…. And it took even longer to see the worth in darkened seas… If you look long enough in my eyes…. You’ll see the fragile love of humanity… A single life is worth the world… Don’t ever let the pain turn your heart cold…. Everyone is worthy…

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never grew

I stayed silent when I didn’t want to…. I hid the tears when it came to you… All the love given to me at a young age was fake…. I did what I did to survive and I had no other choice but to bare their burdens and mistakes…. But my entire world fell suddenly…

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believe

I’m mad at myself for giving in… I beat myself up for losing battles before they begin… I’m better than this I know… A person has a million sides to them they never show… Losing you was hard…losing me was too… Sometimes you shatter completely before you can have a brighter view…. You don’t stop…

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