relief

I took a moment… Long enough to respond to my panic… To give it my time and space… And instantly I felt relief… Ironic isn’t it… The more I ignored it, denied it….pretended it wasn’t there… The more intense it grew until… I listened… I stopped… I created a healthy response… I saw it for…

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not going to

I’m not going to beg you to love me… I’m not going to plead with you to stay…. I’m not going to cry for your validation…. I’m not going to give into all your selfish ways… I’m not going to try to change you…. I’m not going to worship every little thing you do… I’m…

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state of mind

it’s hard for me to trust in my self… to stop myself from explaining, defending, justifying my state of mind… because back then… every little thing I did… they would twist and turn it around until I believed I was the one who was selfish and unkind… must have been doctors in psychology to replace…

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feelings

oh I have a bad feeling every time you walk into the room… sitting with this sharp panic surrounding an inevitable sense of doom… breathe in the worries and let them stain my skin… I’ve lost count if it’s me or you, who has the most wins… but love wasn’t meant to be played… there…

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right

know your own limitations… because you can only give so much of yourself… sometimes it’s difficult to remember to take a step back and be the one you help… mental stress and anxiety… build a dark prison of isolation and it’s so lonely… it’s not selfish to pour your own love in your days… sometimes…

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star

I can barely breathe… My heart escapes me… Nerves are on thin ice… She’s free but to get here she once paid a pretty price… Don’t ever judge a person until you see through their eyes… We all wear our own fears in superficial disguise… But didn’t anyone ever tell you… How beautifully brave you…

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tired

I’m tired of the smiles I pretended with… Tired of biting back the words I wanted to tell him… Tired of all the times I cried silently after a fight…. Tired of the times he made me the villain when he was guilty… Tired of the manipulations… Tired of the mind games… Tired of feeling…

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