i’m better

let the past be the past… nothing, even the darkness, ever infinitely lasts… if all we have is now… you have to focus on what thoughts your heart will allow… and I once dedicated my life and time to the pain… but reliving all these memories is always in vain…. I’m proud of the journey…

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pure lies

I wish I could have hated you longer…. Lost sight of myself in your humanity…. And even in the dark I forgot his fragile vulnerability…. Because sometimes it’s easier to see a monster…. Than a real person in front of your eyes…. There was a point back then I lost sight of what was truth…

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to live

A single thought… A single word…. And I can’t breathe… The panic pours in tidal waves over my heart…. Once the pain hits… I don’t know how to prevent the start…. Close my eyes as… My whole world is torn apart… But it happened once before…. Scars live in the silence and slammed doors… Love…

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feel

I lay my head upon soft pillows and mixed feelings…. No one ever promised life would be easy…. But the only person I can ever be is… Simply me…. And I used to kill myself to fit into a box you wanted me to…. When you convinced me love was based on conditions and seeing…

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found

Was it pride? Was it fear? Don’t we all wear our wounds under thin skin… I won’t say I’m perfect… I won’t sit here and argue my case… Was I prideful then? Yes. Was I blind too? More than I knew… My heart is triggered by the slightest word… Still at times my mind struggles…

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Vision

I was jealous…. And I was bitter… Hate how you up and quit her… Gave up so easily… But it was me who couldn’t see… He played me like I played you and I’m not proud… Sometimes my head and heart get lost in rose colored clouds… The worst part was never what he did……

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find

I miss you but I don’t want you back… The truth hits me with a blade… I needed hearts but all you had were spades… And I’m mourning the loss a little at a time… I tell myself it’s okay to feel… It still kills me that none of it was ever real… The reality…

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