selfishly

if you asked the ones I left… maybe they would blame me…. and maybe they would say I was the one who acted selfishly. I fight with myself and the guilt too easily. but if they knew how it hurt me to walk away… how there are days I still struggle to be okay…. loving…

Read More

shine as me

there are times I think… it would have been easier to be the person he wanted me to be. stop putting up a fight and accept I couldn’t truly shine as me. at least… there wouldn’t have been those fights. the ones that kept me crying long into the night… and at least… I wouldn’t…

Read More

All Along

I wasn’t always broken… It took time to wear me down… I always believed I was a fighter… Until he burned everything I loved to the ground… But I’m not feeling sorry for the adversity… You have it all switched around… Because of him… Real love was what I eventually found. I thought I needed…

Read More

no longer alone

these scars along my heart…will take time to heal. a lonely, lost girl who never learned how to embrace the way she feels. parents who were a million miles away… food and sleep to get through another impossible day… how differently it could have been if…they had helped along the way. but there’s no way…

Read More

love in everything

forgiveness showed up at my door… when I was able to thank you for… everything you did and didn’t do… for if you could only see what the adversity turned into… I could never imagine being at peace with the past like this… no longer focused on what I couldn’t have or what I missed……

Read More

dreams

missing someone…isn’t the same as needing them. searched and searched to find where these thoughts originally stem. fears of not being worthy of love was given to me. but in time…i learned this lie would fail to imprison and harm me. for everyone needs to be loved and seen. we’re not emotionless and programable machines.…

Read More

live for

my greatest fears… all came true. because whatever i focused on… uncontrollably grew. patterns and patterns, you never knew. i walked into darkness without knowing what i got myself into. his rage found a safe home in me, touched it all. his violence made itself comfortable and runs deep in these walls. confessions of him…

Read More