free

I still have my good days and my bad…. I’m learning to embrace the pain and stop running away from feeling sad… There once was a hole in my heart that nothing could ever fill… But the emptiness slowly began to disappear as I stopped and stayed still…. I started to listen to the voice…

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letting go

I still hear your condescending tone in his voice….even when it’s not there…. I still feel the tension in my nerves….even when I know I’m safe… I still lose myself to anxiety and panic….when there’s nothing to be afraid of… It takes a long time to let go…. Every day I’m still letting go….

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me

I fell in love with the pain… The attachment to the helplessness you made me feel… And there, in that place, I lost sight of what was fake and what was real… I thought I had to kill the version of myself that you sought out to harm… But in doing so, I lost me…

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bare

I was living in a place of pain… All my efforts to control the uncontrollable fell away in vain… And I made a home out of a personal hell… Painting a picture of a villain and victim I knew far too well… The only way to heal was to drown the tears in unconditional love…

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forever stay

your presence is a blessing…. even that’s something I know… and all the words you say and love you give me… gives me the courage to beautifully grow… I loved him when his violence washed upon my world… and I loved him when the light and love in my eyes grew distant and cold… but…

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raw

My wounds are still raw… Fragile and delicate… Paper thin layers healing the surface… But still healing… I grew up without love… Eventually I believed I could live without it… Maybe that’s why I fear it the most… When I know deep down… It’s all I will ever need… Nothing else could ever fill that…

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home

He didn’t give me a choice…. He stole away my consent… And I… I’m still grieving over the life he took… And I… Still cry tears filled with unhealed pain… I never had a choice… He stole it from me… And now… The thing that scares me the most is… Having one… Having a choice….…

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