Just like you planned

No one can hate me the way I can. I’m my number one enemy and my number one fan. What you don’t say kills me just like you planned. Even if you were here I don’t think you’d ever understand. It’s a one way relationship and there’s nothing more left in me. I’m more used…

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Left Me

Try to numb myself from the pain. Addiction knows no other way. Why do I need you to care? You’re still on the clothes and make up I wear. I love you and I hate you too. If you could see what you put me through. Dig a hole deeper. Happiness doesn’t want to keep…

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All I Know

Misery… I have a toxic relationship with you. The more I pull away… You pull me in to stay. And you won’t ever hear this. I didn’t want you when I had you. But now you’re gone and it’s your presence I miss… Attachment isn’t love and it wants to be. They say…. They say……

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You don’t love me anymore…

Can you really lose what you never had? You’re no longer in my life, I guess it’s what I wanted and I should be glad. Oh the words you will never hear. And the pain you gave me to fear. They tell me… I should get get over what you’ve done and move on. But…

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After love

You stole my voice with your hands… Hands forcing me into one of your little gilded cages. My heart screamed against the bars, until there wasn’t a sound left. Smile. You told me to smile, tears streaming unnoticed on your sleeve. She hides within these walls. Walls high enough to disappear beyond rose painted clouds.…

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Truth Revealed

You lost your husband, I lost my father. Never could be the perfect kind of daughter. It hurts me still, maybe it always will. There wasn’t a part of me he didn’t kill. And I’m healing slowly, taking my time to feel. I have to separate what’s make believe and what was real. Trauma lens…protected…

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You disappear.

I don’t read fairy tales anymore… They remind me of everything we didn’t have. I didn’t want it to be perfect. I would have given so much to feel your presence there. I could have reached for you endlessly, but your heart didn’t have any love left to care. I miss your… I think of……

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