away

I hate how I try to pull away… As the emptiness settles around my heart…. Panic alarms in my head… As I’m left with the moment I realize… How dependent I became on you…. How even a day without you feels like a lifetime… Knowing it’s wrong doesn’t make it easier for me… Because I…

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fully

Made a hard decision to.. Block you on all sides… Separation to work on me not because there’s Anything I have to hide…. It’s painful but it’s right… Out of mind…and out of sight…. Convinced this one sided relationship isn’t my type… Not sure if you could live up to all the hype… Because the…

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steps

I’m not giving away my peace…. I’m not throwing away my joy…. I’m learning how to live and love me…. And it’s hard and painful… With every little step…. It’s not a perfect process… But I know it’s worth it in the end….  

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moments

I want to love me the way… I need to…. I want to take care of me the way…. I need to…. It’s painful… To face a long awaited reality…. And I just want…. To know and hold onto me…. Because there was a time… A time I thought it would have been better to….…

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love for me

I searched and searched for answers…. For love… Outside of me…. As if…. Someone…. Something…. Held it…. But the more I looked outside of me…. The more empty I felt…. The more alone I felt… Until one day… I had no choice… I had to stop depending on… External validation…. I had to choose to…

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exist

I’m chasing after a reality that doesn’t exist…. In my mind… It’s difficult to let it go… It doesn’t make it easier… Even when you leave behind… All you know….  

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danger & love

you got me… you got me good…. you have me wondering… could I have left you when… I should…. whisper those words again… tell me how you care… danger and love are… a complicated pair…. and all you do… and all I see… is you…

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fully free

you could live life perfectly… you could have it all… if you stayed in safe harbors and never… allowed yourself to feel or to fall… you could say all the right words…. and have all the right materials in your hands… but a king who has it all will never have the heart to truly…

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keep

he fucked me up… that part is true…. he messed with my head… that part is real… but the secret to healing… is not reliving all he ever did… especially when… back then I was only a kid… I don’t want to live angry… and I don’t want to live afraid… I’m tired of always…

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exist

I’m feeling a mood… One where I don’t need anyone or anything to improve…. Back in the day… I was always the one… Waiting on you to move…. But lately been wondering…. How differently life would be… If I did it all in my own way…. If I no longer needed you to be the…

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