free

I’m in a dark place…. Because you were not someone to replace… But the poison you gave me still runs through my veins… Even when nothing between us now remains… The pain tears through my heart and I… Think of you and what we lost every time I begin to cry…. My coping mechanisms and…

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sorrows

I can’t let you go… My heart is screaming…. I have to let you go… My head is saying… And I know which one will win…. I try to cut you off… Then the whole repeating cycles begins… Oh if you only knew…. The day to day I go through…. But self pity won’t heal…

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I couldn’t

I held on you… Walking a tight rope… Letting go… Leaves me in a free fall… And I… Never knew you were the one beside me through it all… The pain paralyzes me… Imprisons me in a place… Where I’m haunted by the longing and love… Captured in your face… Losing you is cutting off…

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away

I hate how I try to pull away… As the emptiness settles around my heart…. Panic alarms in my head… As I’m left with the moment I realize… How dependent I became on you…. How even a day without you feels like a lifetime… Knowing it’s wrong doesn’t make it easier for me… Because I…

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fully

Made a hard decision to.. Block you on all sides… Separation to work on me not because there’s Anything I have to hide…. It’s painful but it’s right… Out of mind…and out of sight…. Convinced this one sided relationship isn’t my type… Not sure if you could live up to all the hype… Because the…

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steps

I’m not giving away my peace…. I’m not throwing away my joy…. I’m learning how to live and love me…. And it’s hard and painful… With every little step…. It’s not a perfect process… But I know it’s worth it in the end….  

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moments

I want to love me the way… I need to…. I want to take care of me the way…. I need to…. It’s painful… To face a long awaited reality…. And I just want…. To know and hold onto me…. Because there was a time… A time I thought it would have been better to….…

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love for me

I searched and searched for answers…. For love… Outside of me…. As if…. Someone…. Something…. Held it…. But the more I looked outside of me…. The more empty I felt…. The more alone I felt… Until one day… I had no choice… I had to stop depending on… External validation…. I had to choose to…

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exist

I’m chasing after a reality that doesn’t exist…. In my mind… It’s difficult to let it go… It doesn’t make it easier… Even when you leave behind… All you know….  

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danger & love

you got me… you got me good…. you have me wondering… could I have left you when… I should…. whisper those words again… tell me how you care… danger and love are… a complicated pair…. and all you do… and all I see… is you…

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