normalcy

lately don’t know where my mind’s been at… every effort I make to create a change feels futile and falls flat… days pass by and blur into one another… I try to move a step forward but end up hiding underneath cold covers… all anyone wants is normalcy… but what we had… no long feels…

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future ties

I want to let go… But I need to hold on… I want to forgive… But hating you was once the only way I lived… The trauma…messed me up and had me in this way… Too long pretending to smile and act like it was all okay… Was it me or the memories..that sent you…

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fabricated fears

you shouldn’t talk to me like we’re familiar… tones in your voice and the hope for love is too similar…. you make it harder to walk away… torn between leaving and the desire to stay… eighteen years old was the age I first left home to escape… but your nightmares were the ones I unknowingly…

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no longer do i keep

she struggled to see the beauty in her own eyes… all the words he filled her head with left lingering doubts and tragic lies. she ran away from herself to find a safe place. cruelty and kindness painted the curves and shadows of his face. he tried to create a void within her heart to…

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haunting

I love you. I miss you. It’s hard not to think of you. Love can’t be love when it’s purely addicting. My head and my heart still relentlessly conflicting. One way relationships are haunting… The way you speak of her is taunting… Only when it hurts me with the reality of what this is, and…

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Commiserate

Never thought I could hate… I don’t want to see myself in this state. The shame, guilt, and pain you give me feels innate. But you have more than enough on your own plate. Sitting across from you, I don’t even know how to commiserate. The shadows you give me seem to consequently proliferate.  …

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In my Mind

Struggle against you… From the pull you have on me. These thoughts… They run around obsessively. Close the door, but I thought you wouldn’t let me go. Is there any love beneath the care you don’t show? And it’s better to leave than be…left behind. All my memories of you exist only in my mind.

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