Back then… I was in a self destructive tidal wave… And every part of me believed I needed to be saved… But the abuse kept my heart and my mind imprisoned in a safe… We live in a world of the choices we alone decide to make… And love is no longer something I have…

Had a dream of you but it’s not the same… Only have myself and my thoughts to blame… Battling with my past and my present but it all feels so tame… I’m not the person I was when I was desperate for someone to care… Back then I looked outside myself for you to show…

every word I used to personalize… as if my worth was under attack… and every thought of you made me think of all I believed I lacked… love wasn’t in your eyes that night… but the bitterness and resentment I held for years… no longer lives within my sight… I don’t have to memorialize your…

It’s a whole new world when you no longer need to fill the emptiness inside… When you embrace your fears and have nothing left to really hide… There’s still an internal struggle, one I have to own… The difference now I no longer feel like I’m not enough and alone… Take care of yourself in…

I want to leave and never return to the old days… But my mind doesn’t accept the messages and your voice continues to stay… The dreams and past left on replay… Replay… Circular thoughts and patterns… As my love struggles to find what truly matters…

I hate the way I held onto you… Clinging to false hope like air… I lost you anyways and none of this.. Feels right or fair… The pain and promises begin to finally tear… And I have nothing left to fear…

I’m up and down I know… My thoughts and feelings too afraid to clearly show… I hate how I made excuses for my mistakes… But I regret the times I thought love was what I had to fake… I only wanted to make it right… You held me in tears throughout the night… And I…