Company

Fell from the stars & into a war zone. Did I even have a chance when my fractured heart was infinitely afraid of being left alone? No I didn’t ask for this kind of life but it was given to me. In the past, I believed a martyr was all I would ever be. Today…

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Ice

There was nothing in you to love… A cold, indifferent person. Every act of “kindness” was a manipulation. Every act of “remorse” was a lie. My heart hurts, not from losing you. From ever believing there was some real connection or person to lose in the first place. All of it feels… Superficial & emotionlessly…

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Mystery

Designing a new reality… My shadows lost all powers to imprison me. Fragile, life changing moments & a portrait of something inhuman in your eyes. Childhood roots generations deep & untold truths beneath a perfect, white disguise. I once poured my cup endlessly of the kinds of poisons my heart knew would never fill these…

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Headspace

Remember it’s all just an illusion….. I’m alone but not lonely in the space created by my own thoughts & memories. Perfect white glass walls & untouchable, parallel realities…my version of the events in personal, truthful commentaries. Tears of joy blur into tears of realization. I stopped living comfortably in my own denial & that…

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I Surrender

Time is forever fading away….moments & memories collected day by day. Human nature to worship conflict & pain. Without the intensity of it all,  the world seems too quiet & tame. I have no more self defenses, what you do, it hurts me through & through. I realize now the nature & nurture I’ve been…

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Raised Me

I never met you in real life, & it hurts to imagine a different family. There’s parts of me too broken & displaced to wrap my head around my adolescent calamity. I wonder of the choices she made to selflessly protect her baby girl, to ultimately provide her with a life she was not able to give.…

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Break

Some days I’m riding a smooth glass wave, sailing curves on a calm horizon. Every thought & emotion touched by golden, flowing waters. Some nights the promise of another morning drowns me with a heavy heart, eclipsed in a dark world of helplessness. It’s only an illusion…the mind creates what we see. But in those…

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I Miss Me

I wish I could have loved myself more, instead I became obsessed with chasing vanishing dreams. Good vs. evil, hero & villain, my childhood was written in water colored, fairy tale themes. All the pain replaying  through my head, chained by this addictive sense of vivid dread. The worst of my nightmares rarely ever come…

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Empathy

I see no soul in your eyes… Eternal blackness with a smoke & mirrors disguise. I always thought it was me. Blame & guilt allied too easily. But what can I say? Power & control, But, what was your goal? There’s not just love missing from your heart, A psychopathic tendency, no compassion, no empathy,…

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Motivation

See the same look in your eyes as I did that night, shadows crossing over veiled thoughts & what I say is still left to your own interpretation. Even now, not sure if I once saw pain, desire, or simple manipulation. Grew up in a home where feelings were used as weapons & every where…

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